Hola todos!
I cannot believe that this day has come, I am about to write to you all my very last email home. I am doing really well this week. I have mentally been preparing to leave the mission and praying that the Lord would help me to live in the reality of the situation and to accept it for what it is. I am going home and my call as a full time missionary will end at the end of this week and I have finally accepted this and the Lord has helped me to feel such peace and hope for the future. The other night my dear Bishop and his wife had all of the missionaries over one last time for dinner before I leave and Sister Smith(the Bishop's wife) asked me if I was going to go home and just sleep and sleep. She was a bit surprised when I told her that no I was not planning on doing that because I know that sleeping in a ton will make me way more likely to have depression and recently returned missionaries are already really prone to this so I want to do all that I can to keep myself active. I did tell her that I WILL be taking naps though and she laughed at this. I do have quite a few goals and plans that I will be accomplishing when I arrive home and I am thankful that the Lord has inspired me to think about these things and that missionaries that I know who have gone home before me have given me advice. I really just feel like I am about to enter into a new mission field! What will I do when I do not need to talk to every person that passes by me to share the message of the Restored Gospel? Every time we leave the house I am looking for a person to talk to about the gospel. Preach My Gospel says that we should speak with someone about the gospel within 5 minutes of leaving the apartment...I am just picturing myself watching out my parents front window for one of our neighbors to come out of their house so that I can share a message of truth with them...no wonder newly returned missionaries are weirdos...
Alright. I need to tell you all about what happened this last Saturday. My companion and I were talking last week about how I want to finish my mission. I was having a pretty hard week because the fact that I was leaving was really setting in and I just felt so sad about it. She asked me what was something that I really wanted to do before I left and I thought for a minute and then I told her "I want to teach one lesson for every year that I have been alive all in one day.". So we made our goal, 24 lessons in one day. We decided that my last Saturday on the mission would be the perfect day for this so we kept our schedule pretty clear. That morning before we left we made a goal to give out 30 copies of the Book of Mormon(20 in English, 10 in Spanish) along with teaching our 24 lessons. I sent the picture of me with the copies of the Book of Mormon right before we went out. We prayed so hard that the Lord would put people in our path because honestly teaching 7 lessons in a day is a really good day and we knew that the Lord would have to be a big part of this goal as in all of the work that we do. Another catch was that we had dinner with our Bishop that night and we knew that he would be picking us up at 5:30 and because he lives a half hour a way from where we live we did not know if we would be able to get much done after dinner. We only had 5 hours to make our goal! So we prayed and left the house and right away taught our neighbor named Henry and then gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon. Literally just as we stepped out of the house the Lord put someone in our path and things like this continued to happen during those five hours. About three hours in we had given away 20 copies of the Book of Mormon and taught many lessons when all of a sudden every single person that we talked to did not want to listen and we even came across an anti-Mormon...person after person kept rejecting us, about 10 people in a row. I could feel that we were starting to get discouraged because we both were a bit hungry and tired but I knew that the Lord could give us the strength to finish strong and because we asked for it He did. We finally found another person who wanted to listen and then another and another and we ended up finishing those five hours having given out all 30 copies of the Book of Mormon and having taught 28 lessons and getting 9 new investigators!!!! This week our schedule is literally all booked up with new investigator appointments! When we got home that night I was so exhausted that I could hardly see straight but I was also so full of joy and gratitude because I know that Hermana Jorgensen and whoever her new companion is are going to be very busy with teaching and busy missionaries are happy missionaries! It was an AWESOME last Saturday as a missionary and I am SO thankful for Hermana Jorgensen and her desire to work hard along side me.
Yesterday was such a great last Sunday as a missionary. The bishop asked me to share my testimony first in sacrament meeting and so I did. I shared my testimony half in English, half in Spanish so that the investigators that we had at church who only speak English could understand me. Looking out over the ward I felt so happy to know all of those people and to have had a chance to be changed by them. I have spent half of my mission in the Kaw River ward so it really is such a home to me. So many of the members came up to me afterward and asked that I please come back and visit soon and that I am welcome to stay in their home(Mom and Doug this means that we have to go back ASAP and we will never have to pay for a hotel!!!) My companion and I also made dinner for Brian Jones, a recent convert who I taught and got to see baptized last summer. He was so excited about the dinner and we had a really nice time showing him the movie Legacy. Okay so maybe we did not really "make" him all of the dinner. An investigator that we have knows that I love tamales and so he gave my companion and I 8 tamales and we saved them to have for dinner with Brian. It was a great night of good food and wonderful company.
This next Wednesday(my last day in Kaw River) my companion and I will be going to the temple with Brian Jones and Lawanda Reese(one of my favorite people in the whole world who I taught and got to see baptized the last time that I was here). They will be doing baptisms for the dead for the first time! I cannot think of a better way to spend the last day in Kaw River. Honestly I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude that my mission has been so perfect for me. My call was switched to Spanish and then I got to spend over a year in two Spanish wards with some of the most wonderful people in the whole world. I have been able to train Hermana Jorgensen and here is some crazy news-my new child missionary is already going to be a mother when I leave! She has only been here six weeks but she has been called to train a new missionary! She has worked really hard to memorize her lessons and she is as ready as a missionary can be. I am going to be a grandmother in the mission! With the new influx of sister missionaries things like this are happening. I am so blessed to have been able to see the age change during my mission.
I would not have been a missionary if it was not for my Mom and step-dad Doug. They supported me when I told them I wanted to serve and they have also financially backed me. They have made possible all of these beautiful experiences that have changed me and so many others forever. I also want to thank all of the other people who have helped my parents and who have supported me by writing me and praying for me. I have felt those prayers as a missionary and they have gotten me through many trials.
This has been the greatest experience of my life. My Savior has become my best friend, and I know that the best is yet to come.I will forever be a missionary. I want to end with some words of the dear Prophet Joseph Smith, my friend and brother.
"Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. aCourage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!"
See you soon my friends,
Hermana Thorne
Hola todos,
Oh man this last week was a bit of a roller coaster ride! So many twists and turns! CONFERENCE WAS AMAZING!!!! This time before General Conference started I wanted to show the Lord that I am really serious about receiving personal revelation during conference so I used my personal study session right before conference and started to pray and study and think of some questions that I would really like answered and then to write them down. I did this and I ended up enjoying this General Conference more than I have any other conference. I had 7 questions written down and ALL of them were answered. There was even a few times that the question was answered in almost the EXACT way that I had asked it and I just cried. This experience with General Conference has helped me understand how it really is possible that God hears our prayers and answers each one of us in the way that we need it because if there were millions of other members praying to received answers at Conference and if all of our needs were met than that must be similar to the way that prayer works. Time after time I have been shown the miraculous love that Heavenly Father has for me and for His other children. There is nothing like it. I am continually amazed as I see the Lord's plan for the church and all the people of the world unfold. We are in a VERY exciting time in the history of the world my friends. We are blessed beyond belief and I pray that we all(especially me) can remember to thank our Father more often for what we have.
We had a zone training meeting this last Friday and I learned so much from it. I love getting to have meetings with our whole zone gathered because I feel of the good spirit of the other missionaries and I feel really motivated to work hard because it reminds me that we are all out here together working as a team, working as an army of truth and righteousness. One of our Zone leaders talked to us about the Christ-like attribute "Charity". For some reason in the past when someone would talk about charity I would feel myself start to zone out a bit because I really just did not understand what charity meant. You know when someone starts to talk about something that you feel like you are really lacking in and part of you just thinks that because you are just not really good in that area that you will never be and you might as well not even try? I guess I used to feel that way about charity because I did not understand what it meant. I felt like it was just love but some people call it charity. I raised my hand and told my zone leader these thoughts and he had us all turn to the definition in the Bible Dictionary under "Charity". This is the definition: "The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds of benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive." As we read this together I knew that Charity is loving someone because you serve them and serving someone because you love them. Love is a strong affection but it becomes Charity when we serve the person, when we put their wants and needs and desires above our own. This then made me think to myself "For whom have I Charity?". This thought has really brought some wonderful moments of studying and pondering so I invite all of you to ask yourselves the same question. For whom do you have Charity?
Okay. So now comes the time for a bit of a funny story. The other night we were at the home of one of our investigators, Victor. I know that I have written about Victor a few times before. His wife June is already a member of the church. I wish that I had more time to go into detail about Victor and June but if you would like a very funny story with lots of laughter on my part just ask me about them when I get home because there is MUCH to tell. So we were at their house the other night and my companion and I were both feeling anxiety because we found out last week that Victor has still been smoking although both he and his wife have been telling us that he has not smoked at all since we invited him to live the word of wisdom. We had been feeling like he was not being honest because their house would be full of smoke when we went to visit them and they said that it was from the apartment above them... well what could we say to that? "No it is not! You liars!!!!". Umm...No. We are missionaries! We had a member call us the other day that gives rides to June and Victor and she let us know that Victor was smoking when they got to their house to pick them up. This just confirmed what we already felt and because Victor had a baptismal date for this Saturday we knew that we were going to have to tell him that we would have to move the baptismal date back because he was still smoking. We went to their house and I decided to just take that approach of acting like it was a known fact and I said something like "Victor we are going to have to push back your baptismal date because it is really important that you have stopped smoking at least 2 weeks before your baptism." He went right along with it and we could both tell that he was a bit sheepish about it. I was very grateful that this went so well! By the end of the lesson I was really ready to get home because it was close to 9 pm(our curfew) and there is a couple of creepy men that live in their apartment building who always say inappropriate things to us when we walk by them. As we were wrapping up the lesson I heard the men outside so I reached into my bag for my pepper spray, I just like to have it in my hand when I feel nervous. I had my pepper spray in one had and with the other hand I went to rub my eye and adjust my contact with my finger because I have allergies here in the spring time so my eyes get really itchy. Little did I realize that when I had test sprayed the pepper spray a few days before it had left some residue of pepper spray on the outside of the container. Yes. As I touched my eye I had pepper spray on my finger and all of a sudden it felt like my face was on fire!!! I did not realize what happened, only that I was in a lot of pain. I stood right up and said "Oh my gosh! Something is in my eye!" and I ran into the kitchen. My companion, Victor and June just stared at me dumbfounded wondering what in the world was going on. I just was walking around their apartment for a moment and then I realize what had probably happened with the pepper spray and I said "There is pepper spray in my eye!!!" We ended up leaving right then because I was worried that it would get worse and then I would not be able to drive home and my companion cannot drive. Looking back I wish that I had been a fly on the wall in that apartment. I bet it was HILARIOUS! I sent a picture of right after it happened but you cannot really see the puffy-ness. Wow. Sister Altier laughed so hard when we told her and her companion and she said "Now you can really go home Hna Thorne, you have done it ALL."
We are currently teaching 3 families! I have wanted to be teaching this many families for the entire time that I have been serving. I am working really hard to prepare my dearest friend and companion Hermana Jorgensen to take over our area and to continue to teach these families and the rest of our investigators. She is really nervous for me to leave but I have SO much faith that she is going to do really well and succeed in all that she does as long as she asks for the help of the Lord and is obedient. One big thing that I learned from conference is that if I am obedient I shall not fear. Remember when President Monson said a few years back "The future is as bright as your faith"? Asi es.
I love you all!!!!!
Strive to put the Lord first in all that you do, study, read and pray!
con amor,
Hermana Thorne
Hola todos,
I want to start off with talking about something that I learned from my Bishop at church yesterday. Have you all had the chance to read or listen to the talk by Jeffrey R. Holland from last General Conference entitled "The First and Great Commandment"? If not or if you would like to see it again(and I would highly recommend this) here is the link: The First Great Commandment . Elder Holland speaks of how Peter and some of the other apostles go back to fishing right after Jesus Christ is crucified thinking that it was finished and that their work in the ministry was done with Christ "working out our salvation". And this after they had received so many witnesses and have been such great friends and helpers of the Savior, they figured it was time to go back to their "old lives" and old habits. When they were not experiencing any luck with catching fish a man called to them from the shore to cast their nets on the other side, and so they did and the catch of the fish was so great that they could not even bring it in. When they realized that the man on the shore was the Savior and they went to Him, Jesus proceeded to question the head apostle Peter as to whether Peter loved the Him or not. I think that we all know the rest of the story from here. Now the question is, how does this apply to our lives? Like Peter do we tell the Lord "Yay Lord, I love Thee" yet we still have "fish" in our life that take us away from the Savior and His plan for us. This lesson really hit home for me because I was thinking about how in a short time I will be returning home from my time as a full-time missionary. Like Peter I have worked along side the Savior in His vineyard and I have experienced indescribable joy and happiness and I have seen the miracles that only the power of God could bring forth, yet I want to be unlike Peter in how he chose to go back to his old life and to his "fish". I know that the work here on earth does not only apply to the full time missionaries. In fact Peter and the other apostles had even more of a duty to fulfill after the death of the Savior. I know that as a missionary I wear this name badge on my chest where the name of the Savior Jesus Christ is written so it is hard for me to forget that I am one of His disciples and ministers here on the earth. Just as it was when the Savior was not longer in the presences of His apostles, I know that I too am coming close to the time when I am going to have to remember the importance of being a member of the church without the daily reminder of his name over my heart. I have found peace in the knowledge that He "will not leave me comfortless" when thoughts of fear and uncertainty have entered into my heart when I think about the time when I will return home. I know that all will be well and I am so thankful that the Lord is so aware of my needs that He would give me such real comfort in a time discomfort. All will be well.
A little update on our investigator Victor: he has not gone back to smoking so he is still on the right track for his baptism on April 13th! He and his wife came to church yesterday and I could tell that he just loved it. The old church that he used to go to was one of those churches where the people say things like "amen!" and "yes Jesus!" so he was doing a bit of that all throughout the meetings :D. They also brought their friend who is not a member. His name is Jimmy. How in the world can I describe Jimmy...well Jimmy is an tall, skinny, older black man with only one or two teeth and a bald head. He is a nice person. He may have put his arm around my companion...okay he did. When I noticed that his arm was around her and she was totally squirming out of discomfort I gave him a look and after a minute he put his arm down...now get this; THEN I put my arm around her and my hand was dangling down on the other side of her next to him and the guy goes to try and hold my hand!!! I let out a little yelp and ripped my hand away and he just laughed! This all occurred during our combined Relief Society and Priesthood class. Needless to say we will NOT be teaching Jimmy. We will give him to the elders. Only in Kaw River ward...
Last night we had a really great experience with this family that we have been trying to get in to teach. I know that my companion and I were led to their home because when we got their the Mom, Toni, was SO happy to see us. They are going through a bit of a rough time and we had such a great talk with them. The husband is from Mexico and Toni is from the States so it was for sure a Spanglish conversation but that's okay because I kind of like Spanglish every now and then. They brought out their guitar and my companion told them that I play so they would not stop bugging me until I played them something. The guitar was really out of tune but they insisted that I still play so I sang "Amazing Grace" for them. The Spirit was so strong after that and Toni had tears in her eyes. We are going back to teach them tonight and we are REALLY excited. I love how much the Lord guides us as missionaries.
I love the warm weather!!!! Things are going so well here! This last week I was able to go on an exchange with the Overland Park sisters. I had the newest sister, Sister Shwarz again, come to be here in Kaw River. It was quite a bit of a shock for her. We had to ride the bus because we did not have the car and this black guy on the bus with a nice gold grill was sitting really close to Sister Shwarz and kept moving closer and the look on her face told me that she was WAY uncomfortable. I then proceeded to ask the dear man to please move out of her personal space. This made him angry and he gave us back the pass along card that we had given to him and he said some other choice words. When we finally got off of the bus Sister Shwarz eyes were huge and I think she was ready to go back to Overland Park. Ha ha, I know that she learned a lot and got to experience something different. There is nothing in the world like KCK. I love it.
I also love you all! Church policy has changed and I now can email friends as well as family so email me if you have time...
les quiero mucho!
Hermana Thorne
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Hola todos,
Here I am again, at the computer wondering how I am going to fit in all that I want to say into this little email. SO much has happened!!!!!!! Last week was a bit rough, I was really in need of a change and so I prayed that we would have one and WE DID! I am now training a bran new missionary fresh from the MTC! Her name is Hermana Jorgensen and she is absolutely wonderful! When I was at the transfer bus on Thursday morning the mission President's wife, Sister Keyes, came over to me and asked me if I had met my new companion yet. I told her that yes I had(at this moment I was saying hello to all of the missionaries that we at the transfer bus and my new companion was not right next to me) and Sister Keyes asked me if I knew that she already knew me before she got to the mission. I was completely shocked and I told her that no I did not know. She then told me about how Hermana Jorgensen knew me because she read my blog before the mission!!! Literally right when she got her mission call last August she went on the computer and looked up our mission and my blog popped up and she read all of it. She also told me that she wondered if I would be the one to train her right before I went home...crazy right?! My dear friend Nikki made me a blog and updates it with these emails that I send home and also the pictures so when President showed her my picture he was quite shocked when she told him that she already knew me a bit. The Lord knows what He is doing, does He not? I feel so humbled by this experience because that Lord knows me so well. Hermana Jorgensen is the BEST. We are already great friends and absolutely LOVE getting to train her. It is crazy to see so many things in her that I have experienced myself and to look back and think how far I have come. I love that I can relate to her when she feels inadequate with her Spanish. I can tell her that I knew WAY less than she knew when I first got here because unlike her I did not get to go the the MTC for Spanish. She thinks that I speak perfect Spanish but she is quite a bit mistaken because I have a TON of room for improvement and I know that she will be doing even better than me at the end of her mission if she works diligently at it. Training is the BEST!
I keep trying to tell Hermana Jorgensen that Spanish and the things of the mission will come to her as she works. Line upon line, precept on precept. I cannot even believe that I am saying this. I feel so different than I did before I was a missionary and training helps me realize this more than anything else. Honestly talking about this makes me feel emotional because the understanding that I have gained that good things take time is so valuable in my life. I know that if I work hard at something that day by day it will improve and that I will look back some time later and see the progress that I have made. This is hard living in a world full of instant gratification, but it is what we learn in the scriptures and the word of God will NOT fail us. You know those days when you feel like you just can't do it anymore? When you are just too tired, too worn out, and stretched too thin? Yeah I know those days very well myself, and then I reach Sunday. Oh blessed Sunday. If we are keeping the Sabbath day holy then Sunday is the re-charger of our spiritual, emotional, and physical batteries. We just need to make it to Sunday and then those feelings of being "too" anything will be dissolved in the Atonement of our loving brother, Jesus Christ. This is an eternal truth, and I know it because although on Sundays we do not get more rest(in fact for me this day tends to be the most stressful and hectic) and we do not spend more time studying our scriptures or being with family as missionaries, we too get to partake of the Sacrament. For those few minutes during Sacrament meeting when I get to take Christ's name upon me a new, I feel whole again and I know within me that there is not anything that the Savior and I won't be able to handle the coming week. I cannot sufficiently stress the importance of not missing church. You need it. I need it and when I go with faith that I will feel renewed, then I am renewed and the world is a much happy place for this missionary. Keep the Sabbath day Holy, in this there is safety, in this there is peace.
Sometimes when I write letters home there are tears running down my cheeks and today is one of those days. I bet the people around me wonder what in the world is going on with me. It's okay, I have been a missionary long enough that people staring at me has become the norm. What will I do when people no longer stare at me like that?! Ha, ha :D I pray that you all have the best week yet. Go hug the person that is nearest to you RIGHT NOW! ha ha, sorry that sounded forceful and also I just laughed out loud to myself because I was picturing some of you getting up from the computer to hug your bosses at work. HA HA! Do it! Maybe they need it...
Remember your worth my friends!!!!
I love you!!!
Hermana Thorne
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